Depressed or Deep-Rest?

I’m currently on a sick-day streak that has lasted 4 days so far. Even though I have mountains of work piling up, it seems like my body just screams for rest and attention. In this forced free time I have, I’ve been noticing the extremity of how fast-paced and burdening our “regular” days are: full of meetings, projects, assignments, travels, deadlines, and more. No wonder we crave vacations and PTOs.

There’s this pattern I’m seeing in all fields of academia: burnout and depression. In this capitalist rat race we call life, it’s almost like we have zero time or tolerance for mental health issues or illnesses, such as anxiety, eating disorders, or depression. Instead of taking the time to reconnect with ourselves and tend to our needs, we cover it up with medications, substances, forced socialization, or even overbooking ourselves as a distraction or deflection. Then, addressing our genuine feelings becomes even more burdensome.

I would like to put a spin on our 3-take out meals in a row, 16-hour nap, and messy apartment times:

Maybe you needed to let loose. It might have been necessary to unwind yourself from how tightly wound up you might have been for too long. It isn’t exactly a bad thing that you aren’t forcing yourself to clean your room or maintain the same routine you’ve been keeping up.

Letting yourself go might not be such a horrible thing. In fact, maybe it’s the much-needed rejuvenation that we’ve been putting off.

Homeostasis is a scientific term to describe our body’s setpoint for weight, strength, chemical levels, and more (which all depend on age, gender, and many more factors). I believe that most of us have deviated from this set point mentally and emotionally due to external responsibilities from work, home, and more. We deliberately change ourselves and, consequently, strain ourselves to be someone who we aren’t in work, family, and friends. Sometimes, even to ourselves.

In this way, we are missing the precious opportunity to develop a healthier relationship with ourselves and our bodies by not placing our sense of self in our looks, routine, or life experiences.

Behaviors we categorize under the label of depression actually might be stepping stones to developing more restorative and more balanced lifestyle habits to sustain homeostasis longterm.

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Speaking from my own experience, I have noticed that allowing myself to deeply rest-which can consist of sleeping long hours crying for a while, watching self-help videos, going on walks, isolating myself, or indulging in loads of food (the list goes on)- helps me better assess myself and choose better lifestyle choices for me that stick in the long run. Essentially, I’ve been able to learn to maintain my natural homeostasis in healthier ways due to my experiences with depression and its behaviors.

While the correlation may not be logical, I would like to present a possible explanation.

I’ve seen that allowing myself to fully experience sadness, depressive-like behaviors, isolation, and pain makes me more comfortable with those feelings. As a result, I don’t find myself resisting them much when they do arise and naturally let them pass through me. This process lets me reflect and see what “works” and what doesn’t “work” in my daily life, so that I can be more efficient, productive, and balanced in the future.

For example, there were times when I slept for long hours because I was in pain or feeling sad about certain things in my life. It is possible that I might have done it because I felt no motivation to do anything else, or wanted to avoid human interaction out of anxiety. This a quick reminder that most of these behaviors aren’t logical and shouldn’t be judged because they are usually done out of helplessness. After some time, I personally didn’t feel inclined to sleep so much because it felt like “I had already experienced it”. I was comfortable moving forward from them. This process is very healthy in my approach because it doesn’t demonize these parts of us that just want to rest. This higher level of experience and clarity made me more aware of the choices I was making and, in fact, drove me to create a more individualized schedule that maximized my productivity, ease, and happiness. I have experienced more security, comfort, and self-love with myself as I found myself accepting these aspects of myself that I once hated. In my routine, I know myself better, am more kind to myself, and live happier days overall.

I believe that by allowing myself to generously give my body and mind the rest they needed at certain times, I have set myself up for success in the long run because it can address deep emotional and physical needs head-on. There was a time when I once hated when I fell out of routine or isolated myself because I wasn’t living to the strict mental standard I held for myself. I learned to embrace these difficult times because they gave me the opportunity to know myself at a deeper level and cultivate self-trust with myself to handle anything life throws at me.

I invite you to become friends with the monster we call depression because it might just serve you in ways you don’t know of.

Let me know in the comments below what your thoughts are on this approach and your outlook on mental illnesses.