The Magic of Self-Acceptance

Life has been magical recently. No, it’s not because I’ve gone on vacation or got the latest hydro facial. It’s also not because specific desires are finally happening or I got recognized for my achievements. Instead, the magic lies in that I got out of my way.

What do I mean by that? I accepted myself exactly the way I was in the moment. 

I have always approached self-growth as a constant compulsion to fix myself. Fix my overthinking, clear my doubts, and demolish my weak mindset. I tried every technique in the book to feel calmer and more comfortable about life: distracting myself from emotions, clinging to a different perspective, and trying new hobbies. I got nowhere. Life gradually grew dull and felt unnecessarily effortful.

Out of sheer helplessness and exhaustion, I surrendered to the anxiety and fear looming over me. I accepted the overthinking and the heavy load of overwhelming emotions that came with it. At that moment, I felt defeated and weak. With time, however, the anxiety felt less prominent in my stomach. The gut-wrenching fears in me eventually subsided. I was more occupied with other aspects of my day and not overthinking my every thought or emotion. 

The primary shift within me was that I gave up trying to be somewhere other than where I was. I grew tired of being someone who I wasn’t at the time. The only way to move forward was to accept how I was at the moment: insecure, lonely, and frustrated. Only when I owned my insecurities and loneliness was I able to feel the emotion and eventually let it go. It was an effortless process, and I no longer felt stuck in my growth. Before I knew it, I thought more clearly, felt more confident, and had beautiful experiences with people I loved. 

At that moment, I realized self-growth is not about changing negative thoughts into positive ones. It also wasn’t about running away from negative emotions and tricking yourself into feeling a happier, lighter emotion. Instead, it was about entirely facing and accepting everything that arises within you, including all negative emotions, stories, and urges. This unconditional acceptance let me precisely embrace how I was at that particular time. Consequently, growing and evolving became an effortless process. I naturally developed desired qualities without force, set boundaries, recognized a more profound beauty of life, and experienced adventure after adventure. Only with unconditional self-acceptance was I able to become self-aware and have a much higher likelihood of thinking or behaving in a more desired manner.

An astonishing realization is that while it might seem like I am doing the heavy lifting of emotional growth, the growth is already happening without me having to lift a finger. I observed that fears and anxiety came up out of nowhere. Specific thoughts or inclinations would randomly show up in me. If it weren’t for those fears or thoughts, the exact emotional processing that occurs, as a result, wouldn’t happen. It was as if these fears and thoughts paved an individual path catered to me. I firmly believe path directly results from my desires, destiny, and drive. 

Essentially, I am not in control here. 

If I were, why would I have the desires I currently have? Why would I have the worries that I do? Only in the unconditional acceptance of myself was I able to start seeing the beautiful reasoning behind why my anxiety or negative emotions existed. Let me give you a personal example of what I mean:

As I study in exhaustion at the library, a strong tinge of insecurity and anxiety randomly hits me. Millions of thoughts about friends, school, family, body image, career, purpose, and much more flood into my brain. I feel like dropping everything and just calling it a night. I pack my bags and walk home, sulking under the heavy cloud of anxiety that looms over my head. I come home and crash onto my bed. Before I know it, I take a 2-hour nap and wake up feeling fresh. My stomach rumbles, but I know I don’t have much food in the fridge. I take an evening walk to the grocery store to pick up staple food items. The walk fills me with peace, and I feel immersed in the nature teeming around me. I make a nourishing meal once I arrive home and take some time to watch a Netflix show. Out of nowhere, the show gets boring, and I feel the urge to do something productive. I’m back to studying but feel rejuvenated due to rest and nourishment. Life doesn’t seem so daunting anymore, and I feel much more motivated to work.

I look forward to spending the rest of the night working and enjoying myself. 

Look at how the magic unfolds itself. Some parts may not seem logical, but if it weren’t for the random wave of anxiety, I wouldn’t have even felt inclined to take care of myself. I would have become jittery, unproductive, and even more anxious if I had run away from the fear or insecurities. 

This experience organically instilled a sense of self-care and balance in my life, something I would not have achieved sustainably without force. 

I share my experiences and insight with you to inform you that you are perfect just the way you are. Think of your state of being as a gift. The second you accept it exactly how it is, it unravels to give you something special. This special something can be an insight, an inclination, or a deeper understanding of something particularly challenging in your life. Before you know it, you will be moving and evolving in ways you couldn’t imagine. Even if you tried, your efforts wouldn’t match the effortless, magical flow that happens when you accept yourself exactly the way you are.

Try it for yourself. Unconditional self-acceptance. I would love to hear what jewels life reveals to you. 

Let me know your thoughts on my ideas in the comments below!